Yep! Heres the space to paste the funnystuff!
VOICE ACTIVATED CAR RADIO
A lady bought a new £100,000 Mercand proudly drove it off the showroom
floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and
saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around
and headed back to the car dealer showroom.
Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that
her radio was not working, and they must replace it since she only had one radio
station. The salesman calmed her down and told her that her car radio was voice-activated,
and that she would only need to state aloud the type of music that she wanted
and the car would find it.
She got into the car and started the engine and then said the word "soul," and
the radio changed to a station playing a Marvin Gaye song. She was satisfied
and started home. After a while she decided to try out the radio
and said "rock
'n' roll;" the radio station changed and a song by the Rolling Stones came from
the speakers.
Quite pleased, the woman continued driving.
A few blocks from her house, another driver ran a light causing her to slam on
her brakes to avoid a collision. The woman angrily exclaimed, "Tosspot"
...The radio cut over to Gordon Browns’ conference speech.
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AIRLINE PILOT
An airline pilot finishes talking to the passengers after the plane has taken off, and forgets to turn off the intercom. He said to the co-pilot, "I think I'll go take a dump and then put the make on that new blonde stewardess."
The stewardess hears it, and runs up the aisle to tell him the intercom is still
on. She trips and falls in her haste.
A little old lady looks down at her and says, "There's no rush, honey. He said he had to take a dump first."
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IN THE PACKED TUBE CARRAIGE
The rush hour tube was packed, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to call the Police!"
"I don't know what you're talking about miss, that's just my pay check
in my pocket."
"Oh really," she said. "Then you must have some job, because
that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour."
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PARKING THE ROLLS
Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.
"Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls Royce," the man said. The
loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking
for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle
up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and
$15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and
started to walk away.
"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while
you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you
need to borrow $5,000?"
The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls Royce in Manhattan for
two weeks and pay only $15.40?"
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